If we know that adolescence is a developmental period in which the sensitivity of the child is increased, as well as his ways of reacting, then it seems important that parents take this into account when communicating with a teenager. The basis from which to start is listening and the way you listen - without interruption, questioning or reaction.

Just listen

When we quickly express our opinion (especially if it is critical or strong) or share our concerns or accusations against one of the actors in the child's story, our teenagers often stop talking and seem to suddenly "shut up". When we try to solve their problems, they stop sharing their feelings and thoughts with us. As if "non-reaction" is the name of the game that needs to be followed in communication with a teenager. Stay calm and try to listen first. When listening to your child, try to be attentive.

Security zone

Listening with respect and without condemnation does not necessarily mean that you agree with what is being said. It’s about creating a safety zone because listening parents know what’s going on in their teens ’lives and can protect them when needed. It is important to offer constructive feedback, but in a subtle way; as if our feedback is such that it helps them to shape their own idea of ​​a situation, person, event. One of the good guidelines for this type of reaction is to check your thinking about what has been said.

Try, "I'm not sure I understood you well, did you mean ______________?"

or

"Can you explain to me how you felt then_________________?"

This style of listening actually means being an active soundboard. In this way, you help them better understand their feelings, thoughts and the ways in which they can react.

Teenage girl
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