[United Kingdom] 'It's OK for teachers to cry': how to handle bereavement in school

The article states that teachers will play a crucial role for children who have suffered grief and trauma during the coronavirus lockdown.

Julie Rees, head of Ledbury primary in Herefordshire, is talking about an emotionally demanding time when she lost her colleague, Jill Evans due to a car accident. She states that the lockdown can also be a traumatic experience – during these months things have changed and many children may have lost a family member due to the virus. She shares some useful thoughts on how to handle post-traumatic times in schools:

• Flexibility – With grief teachers need time to respond to the children’s emotional needs, so they have to make sure there’s plenty of flexibility in the timetable.
• Support – It is good if there is a room for time out in schools, for children and for staff too, with a counsellor on hand, so they know there is someone they can talk to. A parent’s drop-in group can be organised too, where adults can have a coffee and talk to each other.
• Deep listening, noticing – Teachers need to encourage children not to judge each other if someone is crying or angry, rather talk about it.

Phoebe Gilbert, 21, was 8 years old when she lost her mother. Her book, „Loss: a Little Book of Bereavement for Schools” can help people how to handle grief. She thinks teachers have huge responsibility – if kids see their teachers to express their emotions or cry. That’s teaching the children that it’s OK to feel sad, it’s OK to show it, and it’s OK to talk about it.

Her father, Ian, founder of Independent Thinking, also thinks it is important not to make death into a taboo, but to talk about it, and to think about how we can use difficult experiences to help others.

How schools can help even in lockdown

• Staff should keep in close contact with one another
• Express your support for families where someone has died
• Consider compiling condolences for bereaved children from their peers, e.g. collecting messages to send
• When you are back to school, don’t try to “normalise” the situation or brush children’s concerns aside and expect the adjustment period to take a long time.